Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The Human Hyperbole

Aka, my new name for the Dude. He reminds me of Francis Townsend, the current spokeswoman for Homeland Security, who declared last month: "We're winning the war in Iraq." When pressed how she knew that, she said: "Because I know we're going to be winning the war in the future." In other words, I can apparently say Neal's President of the United States, because I know he's going to be President in the future. It's a fantastic and fun ability to turn a phrase that I think she shares with the Human Hyperbole and his "upset" nonsense. Compare the statements of the Human Hyperbole with the statements of someone who might know a little more:

"It's pretty frustrating to lose when you play well like that," McGrady said. "They're a great team, we knew that. That's why I attacked early. But it wasn't enough. We still have a ways to go before we catch up to this team."

You can make fun of Devean George all you want, but he embodies why the Mavs are the best team in the league right now -- their 8th or 9th man has the ability to turn a game around on both offense and defense. Somehow I don't see Chuck Hayes or John Lucas doing the same.


vwz said...

Joel, for comparison purposes, let's go through the cumulative scores of the Rockets and the Mavs against the generally recognized top teams in the west: Suns, Rockets, Spurs, Mavericks, Lakers and Jazz. Keep in mind that before I do this, I have no idea how this is going to shake out:

Mavs v.
Rockets: -18
Suns: +9
Spurs: +2
Jazz: -19
Lakers: +6

Rockets v.
Mavs: +18
Suns: -11
Spurs: +11
Jazz: +4
Lakers: +6

Even if you disregard the Rockets' 31 point beatdown of the Mavericks in the 1st week because of, whatever excuse Joel can come up with, and make it a garden variety 10 point win, the Rockets would still be ahead (+7 to +1). Based on the foregoing, how can the Mavericks win be construed as anything but an upset?

Head Dude said...

Because Human Hyperbole, as you know, point differential is meaningless. The Mavs are 2-1 against the Spurs, 2-0 against Phoenix, and 1-1 against the Rockets, Jazz and Lakers, for a combined 7-4. The Rockets are 1-1 against Utah, Dallas and SA, 1-2 against the Lakers and 0-1 against Phoenix, for a combined 4-6.

I'm glad Rafer Alston can hit meaningless threes to increase the margin of victory, but I'd rather be 7-4 against the elite than 4-6, and it's likely that after tomorrow night, the Mavs will be 8-4 and Rockets 4-7, assuming your feared Suns win in Houston tonight.

Human Hyperbole: it's time to take a breather for now -- I'm not saying the Mavs will win the title, but they're the best team in the league right now and just about every national "expert" (from Barkley and Kenny Smith to Marc Stein and Jon Barry) would agree.

ThadisRad said...

Wow, Vic's clever use of stat manipulation to completely mislead us about the truth is worth of a position on Bush's cabinet. Joel, call your friend Dick Cheney to tell him you've got a perfect minority candidate for the Bush Administration!

vwz said...

I'm sure that Joel, as a highly-compensated Texas attorney, knows Mr. Cheney personally, and perhaps even goes hunting with him on occasion

Head Dude said...

Weitao's ability to pivot between the Human Hyperbole and the Human Teapot is uncanny -- one minute, the Rockets are the greatest NBA team of all time, the next minute he's forgetting he's a highly-compensated, and corporate, Texas attorney. Remarkable, Young Price, Remarkable.