NCAA Final Four; MLB Opening Day; NBA coming down the wire; an exciting week in sports no doubt, here are this week's unathlete candidates:
(1) Shane McMahon & Umaga: The details were confusing, but it appeared that Shane O Mac and Umaga had a chance to shave Donald Trump's dome at Wrestlemania 23 in Detroit (not so much shave, but probably just "lifting" the tupee) but apparently lost to Lashley. Obviously, the world would have loved to seen the Donald getting humiliated; unfortunately, Umaga and Shane O Mac couldn't get it done (is Shane still recovering from his across-the-ring drop kick from the Astrodome Wrestlemania)? One thing you gotta love from wrestling - if you've tuned out for five years, don't worry, some of the guys who you thought must be getting near 60 years old are still wrestling?! Apparently, Shawn Michaels from the Rockers was the challenger in the main event!! Where is Marty Janetty?
(2) Brad Lidge: New season; same Brad. After Brad's stellar spring, where he carted around an ERA in the 12s, many Astros fans had discarded Lidge's career into the Rocker/Wohlers/Ankiel bin - but not Astros skipper Phil Garner. The Astros' incompetent manager (who for some reason, used 2 hitters with recent OBPs around .300 in the 1st and 2nd slots of the order) installed Lidge as his closer and watched as Lidge coughed up yet another lead by giving up a 2 out homer to the Pirates Xavier Nady in the 9th on Opening Day.
(3) Tracy McGrady: Moments after chucking up a disappointing 9-for-23 effort in which he had 2 late game chances to either tie or put the Rockets ahead, McGrady put the blame squarely on the shoulders of . . . his teammates: "There was miscommunication on a couple of guys' part. They didn't know where to go and they didn't set screens. I couldn't get open and nobody could get open." Uhh, Tracy, how about you stop blaming your teammates, stop going 1-for-8 to start the game, and stop missing important free throws. What did McGrady do on his tie/win chances, passed off to Rafer Alston for a brick on the 1st chance, and bricked the second chance.
(4) Dirk Nowitzki: Fans expected a scintillating rematch of one of the best games of the season and a possible Western Conference Finals preview; fans received a blowout in favor of the Suns, attributable in part to a subpar outing from Dirk. Nowitzki went 6-for-18 from the floor and was otherwise a nonfactor in the Suns' 22 point rout of the Mavericks.
I vote for Brad Lidge
EDIT: Vote changed to Joe Alleva as of the afternoon of 4/3
EDIT2: Quotations removed from references to sports entertainers