Inspired by the attempted comebacks of Reggie Miller and Allan Houston, DudeSpin contributor The Franchise announced Thursday, that he too was in the process of contacting NBA teams to gauge interest in a "comeback."
"I just figured if those old guys could do it, why not me?" said The Franchise at a sparsely attended press conference in Hershey, Penn. "I'm 32, but I'm a young 32. There aren't many miles on the tires, know what I'm saying?"
When it was pointed out to The Franchise that there actually were no miles on the tires - since he's never played in an NBA game - and it was highly suspect to even call this a comeback as a result, he had this to say.
"Well, I mean, people are going to say what they want to say and the media is going to try to bring you down. To me it's just a matter of semantics. To paraphrase the great LL Cool J, if it bothers you, don't call it a comeback!"
At six-foot and possessing below-average speed, Franchise appears to be following in a dubious Duke tradition in that he's likely to be too small to guard the two and too slow to guard the one. Asked what role he could see himself filling, he was optimistic.
"It just depends on where I land, because I know I can help in a variety of ways," he said. "If I get my first choice, Denver, I'd probably be keeping annoying white people away from A.I. In Houston, I'd be piggybacking off the Asian community's love for Yao. And my people haven't ruled out Boston - I might be the fourth option on offense there!"