Monday, June 02, 2008

Two Outs in the Ninth, and Here Comes Jeff Russell!!

According to the Huffington Post, Clinton expected to endorse Obama tomorrow night.

Update 1: Geno Petraulli calls for a fastball on the outside corner against Rickey Henderson - strike 1 as Russell paints the corner. (Bill Clinton admits this could be the final day.)

Update 2: Henderson lays off a breaking pitch in the dirt (Clinton spokesperson says "It's pretty clear she's not conceding").

Update 3: Henderson raps one past a diving Steve Buechelle but foul, 1-2 to the hitter (Hillary to confer with Bill in Westchester tomorrow).

Update 4: A slider in on Henderson's hands, hit softly to short; Scott Fletcher charges, gloves it ... (Clyburn endorses Obama!).

Update 5: pivots, the throw is on target... (17 senators-superdelegates to endorse Obama)

Update 6: and Nowitzki drops the throw! I can't believe what I just saw! Nowitzki, who came in for suspended roid-user Ratfael Palmeroid at the start of the inning, drops the throw! (Politoco's Roger Simon reports that Clinton hasn't quite finished running just yet)

Update 7: Two quick strikes to Carney Lansford (Sen. Claire McCaskill says enough superdelegates will commit tomorrow so that Obama will clinch)

Update 8: Uh oh, Bud Selig just stepped in and said he's thinking of calling it a tie ... (Clinton giving new signs she wants to be VP)

Update 9: And here comes Tony LaRussa, storming out of the A's dugout and berating the umps (Bill Clinton slams Vanity Fair article author and Obama)

Update 10: with all parties back in their places, Rangers skipper Bobby Valentine calls Pete Incaviglia in from left, and he's putting in a defensive replacement, rookie Mike Modano! (Obama protects double-digit lead in Montana)

Update 11: Let's head back to the HSE desk for a sports update...In a dramatic night at Joe Louis Arena, the Red Wings come within 34.3 seconds of skating off with Lord Stanley, only to watch an easy putback deny them the win, Fleury deny them constantly in overtime, and finally, Petr Sykora deny them in the third OT ... We're headed back to Pittsburgh for Game 6. Sorry Franchise!

Update 12: Russell throws over to 1st 20 times to keep Henderson close and wastes two pitches wide trying to get Lansford to chase - no dice, the count levels at 2-2 (Ickes says Clinton has not contemplated dropping out).

Update 13: Pitchout, Henderson takes off from first, Petralli fires it to a young Julio Franco, who applies the tag well before Henderson's hands hit the second base bag. (AP reports that Clinton will acknowledge tonight that Obama has the necessary delegates).

Update 14: But the ump holds out his hands, palms down - "Safe!!" (McAuliffe says "not so fast!")

Update 15: Let's set the situation for those of you joining us late: Jeff Russell is on the mound, his battery mate is Geno Petralli; the infield has Steve Buechelle at third, Scott Fletcher at short, Julio Franco at second and Dirk Nowitzki at first. Cecil Espy is in center, he's flanked in left by Mike Modano and in right by Ruben Sierra. Rickey Henderson is on second, Carney Lansford is at the plate with a 3-2 count; Jose Canseco is on deck and Mark McGwire is in the hold. (Obama has 2,081.5 delegates, needing 35.5 more to clinch; Clinton has 1,916.5 delegates, and needs 200.5 to clinch)

Update 16: Lansford skies one to left, it is high, it is far, Modano sprinting back to the track, at the wall, leaping... he makes the grab!! he makes the grab!! The Rangers have won the American League Championship Series!!! (AP Reports that Obama has clinched the nomination).

3 comments:

Big Daddy said...

Who knew Sen Clinton read Dudespin? Obviously she saw my threat to leave the Democratic Party and establish the Weitao Party.

And just as obviously she did not want to go down in history as the single most responsible person for making the Democratic Party the Whigs of the 21st century (i.e. a defunct party)

But as Yogi Berra used to say (or at least one of a number of "stupid" quotes attributed to him)

"I'll believe it when I believe it"

Head Dude said...

And I'll believe it when Ricky Henderson gets a base hit and Russell has to strike out Carney Lansford with the tying run in scoring position (he swips second easily on Petralli) to win the game. Luckily, Cecil Espy is playing center and will let nothing drop.

Head Dude said...

Let's not forget to mention that Edwin Correa started the game, and is on track for the win, with a hold for Craig McMurtry.